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The Domain Security Reports https://vigilantesecurity.ca/index.shtml
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Android, looking rundown and overworked, maybe Website Security would help enough to cheer up.    

For the Penwarden Website Security Service Report Checkmate Protection, block off malicious Website Malware completely, adding up the Cost for the Android2 A.C.A.D. Firewall Listing [9,212] malicious Files on sale at 90% off for a Dollar apiece is US$9,212.00 plus 13% Tax. Normally, the going rate is a flat rate of US$100,000 for all, but for you because there are so many malicious Androids files out there the price is reduced 90% to $1 Bob is your Uncle to keep your Costs down for proper Website Security. And all them People-folks on the Bus with their heads tilted and Phones in hand should there be FREE Wi-Fi supplied onboard? It can be PAID to Eric Tippett age: 68 via E-Transfer Email to 'price.list@domainsecurityreports.ca' with the password separately to Same address, Thank You.